Sunday, October 8, 2017

Week 82: "Beautiful, Soft Towels. Very Good Towels" (October 8, 2017)

Dear Readers,

It has been an eventful week. For all past newsletters (and more), make sure to go to the blog at http://www.electreport.blogspot.com

Las Vegas

I don’t want to say too much about this, because what there is to say has already been repeated many times. The facts are as such: A 64-year-old retiree with no prior criminal history shot at a crowd of festival goers, killing 58 and injuring hundreds more. He was able to fire more bullets by using bump stocks, a legal device capable of making semi automatic rifles become basically automatic. The NRA has opposed efforts to ban these devices, as well as any gun control efforts.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all the victims, but if this won’t start a serious dialogue about gun control measures, what will?

Puerto Rico

Now, for some more lighthearted news, Donald Trump’s handling of Hurricane Maria. Trump finally visited the devastated island of Puerto Rico and... threw rolls of paper towels into the crowd, like a T-shirt cannon at a basketball game. He then somehow tried to justify it by, of course, bragging about the crowd’s reaction as well as describing “these beautiful, soft towels. Very good towels. And I came in and there was a crowd of a lot of people. And they were screaming and they were loving everything. I was having fun, they were having fun.” Nothing more fun than hurricane relief efforts! Fun!

Adult Daycare

Following the announcement of his retirement, Senator Bob Corker (R-TN) has begun releasing insults of Donald Trump (since he’s got nothing to lose), and it’s a beautiful thing to behold. The chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee tweeted this morning: “It's a shame the White House has become an adult day care center. Someone obviously missed their shift this morning.”

Similarly, during a feud between Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and President Trump, it has been revealed that Tillerson referred to Trump as a “moron” in a Pentagon meeting. The reason Trump and Tillerson were feuding is because Tillerson has been negotiating with North Korea, which Trump thinks is a bad idea. Indeed, he referred to this time (with North Korea... we think) as “the calm before the storm.” Repeatedly asked what said storm referred to, he only said “you’ll find out”. Because who knows any more?

Thanks for reading! Feel free to reply and let me know what you think.

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